Hey there, it's Lex. Every month on the 15th, I'll send a guest letter. This month's letter is from my friend Erin. She's a wonderful poet based in Atlanta, and you're going to love her letter. When you're done, you can respond or--if you like--follow her on Instagram (@erinsylvester) or on Twitter (@erinat22). And as always, my letter will be coming out on the last day of the month (May 31st)! See you then.
Can you believe we're almost halfway through the year already? It seems like just yesterday I opened my eyes on January first so hopeful I would be met with sunshine, but frozen things lasted well into spring and here we are now in May.
Things are only just beginning to thaw.
I've been wondering if perhaps this is where the year really begins: Gemini season, the month of my birth. Maybe this is where it all gets turned around; where my spine finally straightens out.
What is most important is that I'm still trying, I promise.
I hope you're still trying, too.
I always want to write to you about feasts, and about the leaves on trees. At the risk of becoming cliche, I always want to hear about your feasts, too.
When you think of me, I want you to think of the sun shining on a perfect porch; the glass of red wine I spilled on my couch (though it became a stain I could never get out.) I want you to think of our millennial love life, and the last time we touched palms.
I want you to think of how that, too, was a kiss.
Dearest, missing you is like missing home.
Do you remember that time we fell asleep holding hands? Or, was that also just a dream? I've been dreaming about you for twenty five years, after all.
I want you to know that, even though maybe I don't know exactly how to tell you, I love you with all I have.
Because of you, nothing else matters.
Or, maybe, because of you, everything else matters. I'm not sure which, but for the first time in my life I think I'm okay with not knowing.
In any case, I'm glad to still sometimes be picked by you.
I'm glad to still sometimes be a thought that crosses your mind. I'm glad to still sometimes be your favorite way to drink your coffee in the morning.
My love, I write to you with all the shattered glass in my heart.